Rain
by Creenella
Summary: The rain always calmed him down.. Why, he did not know.. Oneshot about Kanekis thoughts a few weeks after he met Tpuka for the last time - Not including TG:re here [I don't own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters, all rights go to Ishida Sui]
1. Rain

The sound.

Of thunder and rain...

Wind...

Rattling softly through the treetops.

The smell of wet, warm asphalt and dirt filled the air of Tokyo's streets.

It was soothing... befogging his thoughts with a strange peace he hadn't felt for a long time...

His white hair was already soaking and he could feel the chilly droplets rolling down his pale face. Even though his clothes were completely soaked and started to stick to his skin, he slowly relaxed.

The rain always calmed him down, especially after a long day like this, but why, he didn't know.

It kind of remembered him of her...

A cold shiver ran down his spine as he recalls the last time they had talked...

The time she shouted at him, asking why he had to change.. She sounded so desperate back then.

And he felt guilty for breaking his promise, for not telling her anything, for being the cold and selfish coward he became.

He raised his hand and touched his cheek where she had hit him...it was almost as if he could still feel the stinging pain her fist had left. But that wasn't what actually had hurted him.

What hurted him was to remember the desperation and sorrow that were hidden within her words, which had soaked deep into his heart, just like the rain..

He knew that he had changed a lot and so did she.

His gaze met the sky as he leaned his head back at the wall behind him before he closed his eyes. The relaxing coolness of the rain running over his always tired eyelids and eyelashes was a comforting feeling.

But that wasn't the only reason why his mouth formed a light smile.

It was a thought that crossed his mind.

_I know I changed a lot, but the old me is not gone forever...It is just tired and needs to rest a little...Just until the dark cloud of sorrows and depression will fade...Just until I will be able to sort things out...Until I am strong enough to keep those who are close to me. Because every storm, no matter how dark it seems, will come to an end... He will come back. The old me. Forgive me...Touka-chan.._.

Warmth suddenly joined the coolness of the rain that flowed down his face, which made his eyes shot open. His vision went blurry as the hot tears flooded everything, weeping away the pain deep inside him for a moment..

Just a moment...

Slowly, his eyes closed again, blocking out all the darkness within this world he lived in for a moment...

A tiny moment...

Relief slowly covered his face, left by the warmth of his own tears that soon mixed with the cool rain, letting a bit of the darkness deep inside of him flowing down his chin and drip off of him...

It was okay to cry just for once...right?

Nobody would notice anyway because of the rain...

Just for once he would allow himself to have a weak moment ...

Just once...

The rattling sound of the rain continued, but if you listened up closely, you could have heard his quiet sobs in between...

Will someone hear them...?

**A/N:**

**This is actually the first time I'm writing something like this in english (It's not my native language, I was actually a bit afraid of uploading it) and also my first project about tokyo ghoul, therefore I really hope that you enjoyed this little piece and if I should have made any grammatical mistakes or if something doesn't make sense, please just tell me right away! ~3 **

**Have a nice day everyone! :3. **

**(I might continue this in another oneshot, which I'm not sure about yet though)**


	2. Pain

Pain.

Throbbing in her chest and Head.

It slowed her down and she hated that, but she got used to it. It was a pain that appeared more and more often ever since they took him.

Since he _changed_.

He promised, he would never leave her alone.

But why wasn't he here now?

Why did he have to leave...without her?

Why didn't he just come back and be with her, Anteiku, their family?

Guilt filled her heart.

Was it her fault?

Drowning in her thoughts and sorrows, she gazed through the big windows, thick drops of water quickly rolling down the panes, leaving behind a blurry trail of wetness. Perhaps they collided with another drop, fusing into one and continued their way together...

She remembered the day.

The day she last saw him.

The day her emotions overwhelmed her, the day she said what she regretted most.

A sad little smile graced her face.

The spark of this special kindness, of this humanity and care that have always been in his eyes, have been washed away by all the pain of this world, leaving only despair and darkness in his already broken heart...

The very essence of what made him himself had vanished.

And she had blamed him for it..

Called him trash...

Shouted at him to not come back..

The guilt suddenly hitted her heart like a thousand hammers. If just she had been stronger back then..

If just she wouldn't always have such a hot temper..

If just she had told him to stay...

If just...

If just...

She squinted as she felt the hot tears rolling down her cheeks, which she quickly wiped away. That perverted four-eyes mustn't see her crying. Not now.. Another gaze of her scanned the dark clouded sky that had opened his gates to drown Tokyo.

After a careful look to her watch, she decided to take the rest of the day off and grabbed her jacket. Shortly after stepping out, she almost regrettet not taking an umbrella with her, which didn't make her turn back though. She just kept walking, she needed this. After only ten minutes her clothes were soaking completely.

The feeling of the cool water running down her face and mixinh up with her tears made her feel safe.

Safe from embarassment.

Noone would see.

That was just what she wanted.

About half an hour later, her tears had finally stopped, unlike the steady rain that still kept falling.

*tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap*

Her footsteps were silent but steady, drowned out by the sound of the rain, the wind and...

There was also something else.

What was this? She heard it before. Quite a long time ago though...

It was a rather quiet noise, rather far away..Maybe near a house on the next street?

Was there someone...

...crying?

**A/N:**

**Yaay also finished the second oneshot about this! This time in Toukas POV though, I don't really know if I should still continue this by now, even though there's plenty of room for it! I hoped that you enjoyed my stuff so far and wish you all a nice day! ~^3^~**


	3. Warmth

It didn't take much time until she recognized these sobs...

This voice..

She would recognize it between thousands.

A shiver ran down her spine and she could clearly feel her heart tearing a little when his name rolled silently over her lips_. "Kaneki..."_

Her steps accelerated and led her through the streets towards the sobs' origin.

They sounded so broken, lost, filled with a pain she knew just too well herself. It made her heart ache, just hearing him like this.

She often had wondered if he could feel any emotions at all after she saw him the last time...His gaze had been so cold...

And...broken...

So unlike the warm and kind way he had looked at her before.

The sobs became clearer the closer she came, until it was almost right above her.

Careful to make no sounds, she jumped onto the fire escape next to her and climbed onto the flat roof.

There he was.

Knees as close to him as possible, arms around them and his head sunken onto them.

Clothes and hair just as soaked as she was herself.

His snow-white strands looked more like silver now, almost completely hidden under the black hood he was wearing.

His whole body twitched under the next sob that shaked through him.

It was him.

He was here.

Alone.

_he'd always been alone..._

Without saying a word, she stepped closer and sat down on her knees before him.

Now that she was this close she could see that his whole body was trembling, even though she couldn't tell if it was just from the rain that still hasn't stopped rattling around them.

Suddenly, her arms moved on their own and pulled him into a hug.

He froze under her sudden action before another sob shook him, a bit louder this time, as if he didn't manage to hold back like before. Her eyes widened when his fingers clinged onto her jacket and his whole body started to tremble again.

He felt so cold in her arms.

She wondered how long he had been out here already, his body temperature was far under normal.

Her arms around his torso tightened a little before she reached up and pulled the hood from his head - it had no use after all, being this soaked - revealing the soggy snow-white hair of his.

Another few sobs escaped him and she herself couldn't stop her own tears from flooding her face.

Warmth mixed with the cold water that drenched her clothes where his head was leaning on.

Tears.

His tears.

She suddenly felt his arms wrapping around her, causing her eyes to widen once again.

They both stayed like this for a few minites before she could hear his shaky voice whispering between his sobs. It sounded smooth as ever but it was filled with so much guilt, pain and sadness, causing her to feel another surge of tears rolling over her cheeks.

"T...Touka I...-"

"Shhh~" she interrupted, squeezing him even tighter, "It's okay, I'm here..." the last part sounded almost like a whimper, but she didn't care.

He was here.

And so was she.

Lending him her warmth.

In hope to warm up his broken and frozen heart at least a little.

She was finally able to be there for him, like she should have been long ago


End file.
